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Post by Edmund Thaddeus Roderick on Feb 22, 2012 23:35:14 GMT -5
Edmund sighed as he slid down into the booth across from Freya. He pinched the bridge of his nose, grimacing as he held his eyes shut. It had been a brutal day, one he would be best forgetting, and he glared at the woman across from him.
"That went...well," he growled, speaking of her initial failed attempt to kill the couple they had been sent after. She had injured the man, who ran off and bled everywhere, leaving Edmund to chase after the girl who had fled at the first sign of trouble. He hated killing, and avoided it as much as possible, but the day's events hadn't left him much of a choice.
He knew Freya wouldn't be feeling any worse than she had that morning, other than being slightly more irritable after the setback. He envied her for that. He envied Balthazar as well, who had no conscience whatsoever. God knows that he'd tried and tried again to harden himself to their level, to be able to take a life without feeling remorse, but he just wasn't capable.
"They had a kid," he told her. "He was older, but he was still their kid." He sighed again. "I know you don't care, don't pretend you do. But I just thought I'd let you know."
He frowned, glaring out the window as he waited for the waitress to come.
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Post by kat22 on Feb 23, 2012 0:03:46 GMT -5
Freya watched as her partner for the day grimaced across from her in the booth. She twitched an eyebrow up as he glared at her. Yes, she had originally failed to kill the man, the… father; but it wasn’t like this happened every time, and the couple was dead now, done with.
She too grimaced, although this was more because of her original failure then anything. The man had bled everywhere and Freya hated a messy killing, it left her feeling dirty, almost sick to her stomach. Not that she would ever let Edmund, or anyone, know that she felt sick at any time.
Edmund definitely felt it though, felt the remorse of an unwilling killer.
"They had a kid," he told her. "He was older, but he was still their kid." He sighed again. "I know you don't care, don't pretend you do. But I just thought I'd let you know."
Freya winced inwardly, she felt something akin to pain when Edmund said that, she remembered friends in school who lost their parents, remembered their withdrawal into a hellish mourning.
Still, she kept her expression impassive.
“You know,” Freya stated, “It is easier to just forget.” She did it all the time, memories of murder were buried deep, causing restless sleep but easy waking hours.
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Post by Edmund Thaddeus Roderick on Feb 23, 2012 0:25:23 GMT -5
Edmund snapped his head up to glare at her. "I can't just forget. There was this one kid whose parents we had to kill, and he turned out to be someone I knew's boyfriend or some shit." He hung his head in his hands, huffing out a sigh. He'd worked with Freya before, multiple times, and she'd come to get used to his moping.
He thought of them. Grace's friend was always talking about the kid, talking about how much he'd changed. He didn't know. No one knew, save the kid himself and the one professor at Hogwarts. And again and again Edmund would listen to the guy complain about it, beating himself up for not knowing what was upsetting the kid.
Turning his gaze to her, he scowled at her seemingly unfeeling expression. "Now I've gotta listen to him get after himself because he doesn't know what the hell happened. And I can't just tell him, can I? 'Hey, about your friend, the thing that's bothering him is the fact that his parents are dead. Oh yeah, and I was there when they died. Hell, I could even be counted as responsible for it.'" He groaned, holding his head in his hands. "I hate it when they have kids. It'd be so much easier if they didn't. Or if they didn't have pictures of their kids up around them, or in their wallets, or...something. Maybe if we caught them when they weren't at home? Or...something..."
He cut himself off, because he was rambling. Again. Straightening his posture, he set his face in its usual frown of disdain. He was above this; this mindless brooding that he was doing. With a sigh, he pushed away the thoughts and set down his wand in front of him.
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Post by kat22 on Feb 23, 2012 0:43:55 GMT -5
“Forgetting is the only way to stay sane,” Freye smiled wanly, “I can obliviate your memories if it will make you feel any better.” It was as close to a joke as she could muster, given the circumstances.
Generally her jokes were said more for teasing then anything though.
Freya listened as Edmund rambled on about the kid and his issue with killing parents who had kids. Usually, what he said didn’t affect her and she rarely even listened to the man most of the time anyways, preferring to ignore his rants. This time was different, that thing about kids did get to her.
Freya knew that for the next month her sleeping would be next to nothing compared to her usual and that she would be in a foul mood for a while.
“Well if we could choose when and who to kill our jobs would be that much easier now wouldn’t they Edmund.” She stated, or rather, snapped, in a rather uncharacteristic way.
Immediately, Freya stiffened, going even more frigid then before to hide her outburst, or to attempt to hide it in any case.
With a quick mental beating, Freya scoffed, “I’m sure you know that though, don’t you?”
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Post by Edmund Thaddeus Roderick on Feb 23, 2012 19:45:22 GMT -5
Edmund grimaced at her statement, not taking it as a joke like she probably intended. "If I forget, then something will remind me again and the whole thing will start over again." He ran a hand through his hair. "It's not worth it.
When she snapped at him, Edmund stopped talking. He hadn't pushed her to breaking point before--though god knows he came awfully close--and he squinted his eyes slightly at her with curiosity. He was an observant person, and he most definitely did not miss the flash in her eyes that mirrored her sharp tone.
Eying her carefully while still keeping his stony exterior, Edmund felt his lip twitch in disdain. "I would know, in fact," he growled at her, his brow set deep in a glare. "Better than most. Better than you, and most others as well." He paused, and a sarcastic grin crossed his face. "If not all."
He leaned back, knowing full well that when it came to the business he was dealing in emotions were nothing but a setback. Death Eaters were cruel, did not feel remorse, and did as they were told without question. And he had a defect, one of the worst for people like him. Closing his eyes and gritting his teeth, he growled slightly and rubbed his temples.
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Post by kat22 on Feb 24, 2012 0:30:40 GMT -5
“Then leave if it bothers you too much, not that you would survive long if you did but at least you wouldn’t feel the pain you so obviously display.” Freya said, even more coldly then usual in an attempt to salvage her reputation as the one who never ever snapped.
Freya did notice the pause in Edmund’s speech and she knew that he had noticed the break in her usual chilly exterior. She once again mentally slapped herself for getting emotional at all.
“Yes, I know you know. Not many of our particular… job ever feel remorse for their actions, me included.” Freya lied. “In fact, I make it my habit to never feel for those I’ve killed, it is unprofessional and humane.” Once again, Freya was jabbing at herself. “When it comes to being a Death Eater it is feel nothing or go crazy, I chose to feel nothing a very long time ago.” Ten years ago, to be exact. When Freya was fourteen she began to toughen herself and make herself a cold, emotionless woman. Of course, nothing was ever perfect, as she had previously demonstrated.
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Post by Edmund Thaddeus Roderick on Feb 24, 2012 20:42:29 GMT -5
Edmund glared at her. "I can't just leave. You know that. That...kid tried to leave last month and they had him dead in less than a day." He smiled coldly, sarcastically. "And besides, what else would I rather do in my spare time than help psychopaths and sociopaths hunt down and kill muggles?"
Looking out the window at the passerby on the street, Edmund thought for a second about their lives. So mundane, so...normal. God, he'd forgotten what normal felt like. His heart temporarily lifted when he thought he saw Grace walking through the streets, but when the lady turned and he saw it wasn't her, he sighed and turned back to Freya.
"I can't just 'turn off' emotion, you know," he growled, adding quotation motions with his fingers for his words. "Us...regular people--" he would have liked to use the word 'normal', but he kept himself from doing so "--don't have some freaky on-off switch for when we decide to feel." He glared out the window again, hating himself for somehow dragging on his parade of self-pity. Not looking away, he twitched his lip into a half-smile. "Let's change the subject, shall we? What're we going to tell you-know-who?"
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Post by kat22 on Feb 24, 2012 21:26:42 GMT -5
Edmund glared at her. "I can't just leave. You know that. That...kid tried to leave last month and they had him dead in less than a day." He smiled coldly, sarcastically. "And besides, what else would I rather do in my spare time than help psychopaths and sociopaths hunt down and kill muggles?"
“I’m sure you are more able bodied then any ‘kid’ Edmund.” Freya replied with a shrug. Then she smiled, coldly, “Which am I? Psychopath or sociopath?” Freya wondered herself what she was, she had oftentimes spent time reading books to know the different between normal, psychopath and sociopath. She never could tell.
She watched as Edmund watched the streets and she too turned to watch the normal people walk by. “Their lives are boring, useless to the world.” She whispered.
”Us regular people don’t have some freaky on-off switch for when we decide to feel.”
Freya smirked, “Well, us not-so-normal people don’t either. We feel or we don’t, I don’t have any control.” She stopped speaking suddenly, once again afraid that she had said too much. What had gotten into her?
"Let's change the subject, shall we? What're we going to tell you-know-who?"
“We are going to tell him that we did the job. Nothing more, nothing less.” She responded. If asked, that was what she was going to say. Hopefully the Dark Lord wouldn’t find out about how messy the job had been.
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Post by Edmund Thaddeus Roderick on Mar 1, 2012 16:51:36 GMT -5
Edmund shot her a look with a snort. "Both," he growled, feeling not at all bad for his comment. Seriously, what else could she be after the day's events? She hadn't even batted at eye as blood got everywhere, staining the carpets and spraying across the walls. And all over himself, too. He shuddered. Never before in his life had he stripped himself so quickly to get into different clothes.
Though her comment did have him thinking. Perhaps an escape was possible? He was much more able than the boy, and had many, many more connections. Maybe he could joined the Order, promising them information about the Death Eaters if they kept him safe.
He sighed at the idea. The last thing he wanted to do was join the Order. All it consisted of were a bunch of entitled pricks who believed in a fairy tale-perfect world that would never come. He despised each one of them; even moreso than those of the Death Eaters.
"Boring, but necessary," he growled, glaring at the table in front of him. "What would we do without normal people?" He turned to look at Freya, a cold smirk on his face. "Though I guess I should have known that. You're cold as can be." And he meant it. He didn't think she ever emoted, aside from the odd frown or scowl. How else could she do so, if there wasn't something horribly wrong with her? No one have that little empathy and be completely okay with it.
"He'll find out," he grumbled. "I don't think he'll care, but if it stirs too much attention, then he will." He set his head on his hand and stared off, trying to locate a waitress.
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Post by kat22 on Mar 1, 2012 21:51:11 GMT -5
Freya cocked an eyebrow, “Both? I must be completely insane.” She said, her lips twitching slightly. She could understand his reasoning, she had killed so easily again, as she did every time. It didn’t hurt that her eyes had held no emotion during the job. Perhaps she was both psychopath and sociopath, it would be interesting to go to a muggle psychologist to be tested, of course, even if she was she wasn’t going to do anything about it. She was able to live and work as if she were any normal person, the only difference was that her job involved murder…
“Perhaps, but I prefer not to think of what normal people are needed for, like I said, their lives are boring.” Freya sat up straight at the table as Edmund glared at it. His next comment made her blink, she was cold wasn’t she? “I’d say thank you, but I don’t think that you meant that in any sort of complimentary way.” Sure, she was cold, calculating, and sometimes purely cruel, but she did have her emotions. They were just hidden away, kept even safer than her own health. Freya sometimes wondered what lengths she would go to just to seem emotionless.
Of course, she knew there was something horrible wrong with her mental state, but she wasn’t quite as bad as many (probably everybody) believed. Sometimes Freya wished she could laugh, cry, or shout like any regular witch or wizard. Sometimes Freya envied Edmund and his ability to care.
“Yes, he always finds out, but as you said, he most likely won’t care. A little extra blood and mess wasn’t going to warrant any punishment, nothing more than a scolding at least.
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