Post by Astoria Greengrass on Apr 22, 2012 14:18:35 GMT -5
The water swirled as Astoria dipped her fingers in. The surrounding waves and grass were going through some sort of change before her eyes. She knew that it wasn't physical. Why then did it suddenly seem as though the green and blue were seeping away, leaving only grey matter in their wake? The Lake may as well have been icing over.
Three days. For three days, her mind had not stopped moving. She'd slept, yes, but very little. When one didn't go to bed until three-thirty to four o'clock in the morning and then woke at five, it didn't give one much time to rest. During those three days she hadn't really needed it. Astoria had found herself wanting to write again, and draw, and be with Draco. That was also when she'd said some horrible things to a Ravenclaw boy that she didn't even know because it had been so, so easy to get angry. Even though she knew that it wasn't true, she'd felt like his remark had stung her. As though he was looking down on her and everyone just like her sister's friends who'd mocked her when she was younger and her mother's friends who'd never stopped. Now that it was over, she couldn't believe the words that had come out.
Now there was only a dreadfully building hollowness. How could she have said such things? She could be sarcastic and cold, but her cruelty had limits. Astoria knew that she'd gone too far. Was that why everything was starting to seem so empty now? It filled her with guilt, if nothing else. Why had she mentioned suicide? How had that become so prevalent? If anyone had should be thrown in that direction, it should be her. She was so tired now. The rapid thoughts were becoming rapid terrible thoughts that were getting slower and slower without getting brighter.
Astoria shook her head, placing her hand to her temple. What's wrong with me?
Three days. For three days, her mind had not stopped moving. She'd slept, yes, but very little. When one didn't go to bed until three-thirty to four o'clock in the morning and then woke at five, it didn't give one much time to rest. During those three days she hadn't really needed it. Astoria had found herself wanting to write again, and draw, and be with Draco. That was also when she'd said some horrible things to a Ravenclaw boy that she didn't even know because it had been so, so easy to get angry. Even though she knew that it wasn't true, she'd felt like his remark had stung her. As though he was looking down on her and everyone just like her sister's friends who'd mocked her when she was younger and her mother's friends who'd never stopped. Now that it was over, she couldn't believe the words that had come out.
Now there was only a dreadfully building hollowness. How could she have said such things? She could be sarcastic and cold, but her cruelty had limits. Astoria knew that she'd gone too far. Was that why everything was starting to seem so empty now? It filled her with guilt, if nothing else. Why had she mentioned suicide? How had that become so prevalent? If anyone had should be thrown in that direction, it should be her. She was so tired now. The rapid thoughts were becoming rapid terrible thoughts that were getting slower and slower without getting brighter.
Astoria shook her head, placing her hand to her temple. What's wrong with me?